4.27.2006 Our server has annoyingly been down for several days--meaning, among other things, that no one can read this. Which makes this the perfect time to admit that I HATE ITALIAN PEOPLE.
11:02 AM
4.24.2006 A few, tangential thoughts about social networks:
1. I'm on IMDB! How funny is that? I'm definitely going to spend the next three days rolling blunts, dressing up like a walrus and taking pictures of myself, just so that I can have the perfect picture of myself on IMDB. I sort of think of it as MySpace for the film industry--and if I want Scarlett Johansson to be my IMDBuddy, I'm gonna need a fly profile.
2. Speaking of MySpace and crushes, last night I searched for every girl I had a crush on during elementary school. I FOUND THEM ALL. It was fascinating and soul-crushing, all at once.
These are girls I haven't seen in over a decade, but who consumed my mind wholly for the entirety of my childhood. I remember being in the first grade and lying in bed thinking about how much I wanted one of them to feel as strongly for me as I felt for her. I remember riding my bike an extraneous mile so I'd pass her house on my way home from school. I loved these girls the way I loved root beer floats.
It's hard to pinpoint the exact moment when my fascination with these girls began, though I can remember with absolutely certainty the moment that the fascination ended: it ended last night, at 11:17, when I searched for them on MySpace.
3. And finally, an embarrassing memory from my childhood I'd long since forgotten about until I began writing this post. In the second grade, my teacher had a democratic system for assigning seats, wherein she'd have us each submit a slip of paper with the names of two people in the class we wanted to sit with. There were exactly 30 kids in my class, including myself, so desks were arranged in six groupings of four, and two groupings of three.
This was one of those few fortunate years where I was in the same class as the girl I was in love with. Most schoolyears, when the administrators would post lists of who was in what class, and I would heart-poundingly scan the three or four posted lists both for my name and for hers, I would walk away disappointed. In second grade, though, we were in the same class--and in April of that year I bravely submitted a slip of paper requesting that she be made my neighbor. The other name I wrote, incidentally, was that of a guy named Danny, who I wasn't particularly friends with, though I wanted to be. In retrospect, it was probably a poor decision to request two people I wasn't comfortable talking to.
To my surprise (and ultimately, horror), the teacher sat me with both of my requested neighbors--at a table for three. Once we'd taken our seats, the three of us facing each other at our desks, Danny looked us both over and said "What the hell? I didn't choose either of you!" He turned to the-then-girl-of-my-dreams and asked, "Did you choose me?" To which she replied, "No! Why would I choose to sit with either of you?" And then they both looked at me.
1:54 AM
4.21.2006 Check out my account of OE's television debut on the brand-new Olde English blog! Then go to bed.
12:40 AM
4.19.2006 I wish there were a way to archive smells, I would save the smell of plumeria. I think I am typically American in this sense--I feel a definite need to try to capture moments and emotions so they don't escape. I brought a few plumeria flowers back with me from Hawaii, I've been walking with them in my hand like an idiot, stopping periodically to smell them. It's an overpowering smell, I can't think of any other smell that affects me as much.
2:03 AM
I listened to this song 23 times yesterday. God damn I love Jolie Holland.
1:59 AM
4.14.2006 Right now, as I type this, I'm eating Hawaiian-style pizza. Ready for the cool part? I'm eating it in Hawaii. 4:35 PM
1. Ma gave me a mysterious smile and tied her apron around her waist. Then she went to the henhouse and got two eggs, which she beat in a bowl with an eggbeater until they were the color of sunshine, assuming sunshine is light yellow. Then she got a sack of flour and sifted it into the egg mixture. Then she went to the old barn and came back with a bucket of milk which she dribbled into the bowl, humming as she did so. Then she went to town and came back with a small packet of cinnamon. It made the whole house smell like a Christmas dream come true. She sprinkled the cinnamon into the bowl, and then went back into town and came back with a small packet of nutmeg. This, strangely, also smelled like a Christmas dream come true. Then she went back into town, humming all the way, amd came back with a packet of baking soda which didn't smell like anything. "Only seventy more ingredients," she hummed to herself, as she walked back to town.
2. "I have an adorable annoucement!" cried the King of Teddy Bear Land. "In honor of Princess Buttercup's marriage to Prince Appletree, we will have a Teddy Bear parade throughout Town Square, which happens to be made of candy!"
3. It was another heartbreaking day for Mark, who lived with his abusive father in a run-down shack by the railroad tracks which were crawling with both poisonous and regular spiders. Coughing in pain as he eased himself into his wheelchair, he wondered how he had become addicted to various drugs, when he had only a few dirty pennies to buy them with.
(The last one, naturally, is my favorite by far.)
11:18 PM
4.04.2006 There are a lot of very cool things happening in my life right now, but most of them involve legally binding nondisclosure agreements--which, as someone who wants to write about the most exciting parts of his life, sucks.
1:53 AM
